Uncertainties

People come and go, they say.

But there are some who choose to stay. And when you find that person, do you keep pushing them away?

At some point in your life, you meet someone you thought would be momentary. You’d find all the reasons you can have to believe that this person is not someone who should be staying. You give yourself reasons not to let this person into your life. But alas! This person is the one who stayed all throughout, despite convincing yourself of their non-existence.

Having been through a lot of things in the past, I have been overprotective of myself. Partly because I know myself too well. I am aware of my vulnerability-my vulnerability that always gets me in trouble all the time.

But one day, I decided to open my eyes. I decided to look around me, and I realised that what I have been waiting for has actually been there all this time. But although it seems to be so good, it is not without risks. Risk of opening my vulnerable self to possibly being fu*ked up again. Risk of waking up and realising that this, too, is actually just momentary.

Now I ask myself: Is it actually worth the risk? Will the happiness that this might momentarily bring me be worth the possible disaster? Is it worth gambling for? Should I free myself from all these worries, from all these years of protecting myself? Should I finally allow myself to just let go and let it be?

Live for the moment, they say. But will this moment be worth all the uncertainties that the future holds?